Friends, I hope this post finds you happy, peaceful and loved on this gorgeous Valentine’s Day.
I know I have been quiet around here, and it isn’t at all what I had planned. My health struggles continue, and I have fought to know and find my voice in this chaos. I have been working through unprecedented symptoms, and it seems there is no end in sight.
I have spent my days quietly at home, in bed mostly, and it has been so hard to find interesting and inspiring things to say. Part of me feels like I can’t speak as candidly as I want to about all that is happening to me. I don’t know if illness is a worthwhile thing, or an appropriate thing to talk about, and at this point in my life I feel like it is the only thing I truly know. What do I say? Do I write about how lonely this feels? Do I write about doctors and hospitals and other unpleasantries? Do I write about abandoned plans, or suffering relationships? Do I write about how exceptionally boring I feel I have become?
When I come here, I want my words to echo a certain meaning and confidence; a heart and faith that I am simply lacking right now. I want to talk about projects, passions and adventure, the things I just don’t have room for while I manage my health. So if the days and weeks wear on and I continue to be quiet here, that’s why. I know one day I will wake up feeling better and stronger, and I will get back to living this life the way it is meant to be lived. Until then, I will simply take each moment as it comes.
Despite everything, I know I am immeasurably blessed. Mine is a life filled with countless reasons to be hopeful.
Hope is a miraculous thing to hold on to.
Have a blessed weekend, everyone.
The mountains are calling, and I must go.
Last weekend my gorgeous husband and I decided to drive two hours east and spend a beautiful day in Lake Tahoe. I know we are blessed when we can awaken late on a Saturday morning and casually choose to enjoy a day in a world class destination. We had no plan, other than just enjoying the drive and each other, and ending up where our collective spirit guided us.
We ended up at Squaw Valley, where my expert-level-skier husband is always in his element. I am, too, but in a different way. Since becoming ill, intimately taking on the combination of slope and speed isn’t really my thing. Instead I love to sit or walk around, taking in the energy of the crowd. I breathe in the amazingly clean mountain air, finding happiness in the sight of life and people enjoying it. I get to see the joy and light in my husband’s eyes, and his exhausted smile from a day well spent.
But most of all, I cherished that cozy, quiet car ride home, with my hand in his. So grateful for a beautiful day. For God’s creation.
And for love.
Have a fabulous weekend.