Where there is love, there is life.
On Sunday, my dear friend took her vows.
As expected, she was beautiful. He was beautiful. It was beautiful. It was filled with the kind of moments, too numerous to count, when I literally could not find my breath. Love and devotion have a way of creating that kind of magic.
The tears actually started many hours before. I felt weepy as I did my hair and makeup, listening to ABBA and Olivia Newton John; just a small sampling of what we loved as teenagers, and what we still love to this day. My mind went back to movie nights and beach vacations. Six years ago she witnessed my walk down the aisle, and on this evening I would witness hers.
The tears came in earnest when the ceremony began, with the sight of her brother lovingly leading her mom down the aisle. I caught a glimpse of glistening eyes and a quivering lip. The telltale signs of love.
As the night progressed, I had my broken moments. The inadequacies of illness sometimes win, no matter how much I know better and no matter how hard I fight. I watched her from across the room, full of energy, talking to friends from work and others who came into her life after me. I heard the conversations swirl around the table and from elsewhere~about jobs and vacations, remodeling and children, college tuitions and 401ks~and there I was, exceptionally boring, struggling to find things to talk about. My husband looked at me, sensing my pain, and gently kissed me.
“She loves you just as you are,” he said, “that hasn’t changed.”
“I know,” I nodded and whispered back, joyful tears threatening again.
As the first dance as a married couple came and went, and the customary parent-child dances were complete, I grew tired and it was time to say goodbye. She hugged me hard as if she would never let me go. Emily Dickinson once said “forever is composed of nows.” These are the kind of moments that are the very precious fabric of life; there can never be enough of them. I want to sit still in quiet and peace and burn them into my memory so I can hold them forever.
After this very beautiful night, my heart and mind are overflowing.
Congratulations, Calli and Derrick.
I am blessed beyond measure by your love and friendship.
I have found the one in whom my soul delights.
~Song Of Solomon
Friends, I hope your holiday weekend was wonderful. Regrettably, I am late getting this post done. Up until a few moments ago I really didn’t think it was going to happen. I continue to be in the throes of lupus. I am losing a lot of hair. I am bruising a lot. My joints ache and my muscles burn. My energy just isn’t there. I have some personal projects to work on away from this place, and I have very little left for just about everything else. Life has very much become a one-thing-at-a-time proposition.
Needless to say, I don’t know what to expect of myself this week, and for that matter I don’t know what to expect of myself for the foreseeable future. I’m taking things one day at a time.
There is good news. Awesome, amazing, beautiful news actually. I got to end my weekend with an immensely joyful heart. One of my dearest friends in this world told me that she is now engaged to be married. In sharing her happiness as she gave me this news, I am reminded of my own blessings. I realized, again, that in matters of love, we need to trust and know that things unfold exactly as they are meant to.
This journey truly is all about love, and I am so thankful that it is mine in abundance. With my family, my friends, and with my beautiful husband.
So now I have a late fall wedding to look forward to. I am so ridiculously excited. I literally feel like I’ve been floating in joy since she told me two days ago. I want to be well so I can be there for her for whatever she needs between now and then. And I will not miss her big day for the world.
Love is truly beautiful.
I wish you and your beloved the happiest life and love imaginable.
I am so happy to call you “friend.”
Have a gorgeous week, everyone.