Friends, I hope my words find you well at the start of this glorious fall week.
I have spent the last few days deep in loving thought. Today is the third anniversary of my father’s passing. In looking back I feel like the time has slipped by so quickly. Three years without him. Three years knowing he is surrounded by infinite love and grace.
Now that he has a better view in that indescribably beautiful place, I hope he sees how much he is missed. I hope he feels how much he is loved. How each of us has found our own way to honor and remember him.
In a few days my husband and I will be escaping to the mountains. This is the time of year my father enjoyed the most, and we will be going to a place that he loved very much. I want to go out amongst the granite walls, peaceful lakes, rushing streams and countless trees, fill my body with that magical, healing Sierra air and know he is there in everything I feel, sense and see. I really do believe he lives on in the things he loved when he was here. I don’t think that love ever stops, no matter where we are, be it in body or spirit.
Naturally my thoughts also turn to my health and how it may influence our time away. I’m trying not to worry about my energy and pain. I am blessed with a very loving, patient and supportive partner. I know there are no expectations of me. I will set the pace. He will know exactly what to do.
Worry really is so unnecessary.
I will be spending the next few days feeling happy and at peace, getting ready for this beautiful adventure. I will be feeling grateful, too. For memories. For love. For good days. For great days. For opportunities. And for living in this incredible state, with so many amazing places close to home to explore.
Have a beautiful week.
Until my return . . .
Summer for me was unexpectedly hard, confusing and often lonely. I know its official end is several weeks away, but I think most of us feel it cease when the last days of August fade away and September begins. With that in mind, I welcomed Labor Day weekend with a fragile yet open heart; open to the possibilities of a new season and eager to put some of this pain behind me. It turned out to be everything I had hoped for.
Monday was a beautiful day. A soft, unseasonable rain fell. The sound of thunder filled the graying sky. I got to spend each cozy, leisurely hour cuddling my furry babes and holding my husband’s hand as we watched the storm bathe our garden and backyard. The day was one long, delicious moment, the kind that reminds you of your blessings and how love knows no end; the kind that shows you the healing power of acceptance. It was, in a word, perfection.
I realize that not all problems in this life are solvable. No matter how much I hope and pray things can and will be different, some things are just not meant to be. I live with a disease for which there is no cure. Being sick has delayed important decisions, about my direction, my next book and what it is exactly that I do next. But when I step away from these self-imposed expectations it is very clear to me. It’s simple really. None of these so called important decisions have to matter right now. They will, when the time is right. For now, for however long I need, I just need to take each day as it comes, recognize the gift that is each moment, take care of myself and be happy.
Acceptance isn’t about surrender. Acceptance is about seeing opportunity in adversity. It is about nurturing a joyful spirit. It is about allowing hope to blossom in unprecedented and unexpected ways. It is about gravitating toward what makes you feel alive, and appreciating the simplest things, because the simplest things are pretty darned amazing when you think about it.
I am beyond grateful that my spirit is in a better place now, and I look forward to the gift of the upcoming fall season. Friends, I hope it is a time of joy, faith and gratitude for all of us.
Have a beautiful week, and a beautiful month.