Monthly Archives: March 2014
Once again, my absence here was much longer than intended; but in between periods of self care I have been busy enjoying the gloriousness of life~like spending time with my hubby, and in the spirit of spring, planting my new flower garden.
My need to bury my hands in the dirt has been exceptionally strong. In years past this was a job I shied away from, mainly because the unrelenting pain and fatigue to follow would be foremost in my mind, and more often than not it just wasn’t worth it. This year it’s different; my longing for color and beauty in my immediate space has overwhelmed me, and this has been a simple and inexpensive way to achieve it.
This precious project has been worth everything~worth every ragged, broken nail, worth the sweat, and yes, worth the pain and fatigue that is now keeping me in bed. Looking out my windows and gently stepping outside my front door, if only for a moment, is all the reward I need.
I am also moved by how my fuji apple tree is now coming back to life; not so much pride, but instead a comfort. When this tree came into my world it was a mere baby, nothing more than a stick emerging from a large pot on my father’s balcony. In the days following his passing it became mine, so its success is an emotional process for me. I know he looks down at how well it is doing and his soul is soothed and happy.
It is such a gift to stay connected in this way to the man who will always dwell in my heart, and in a way that mattered to him.
I wish you a pleasant and inspiring weekend, friends.
Perfection is attained by slow degrees; it requires the hand of time.
A curious thing happens as I journey through this life, and it happens when I need it most.
Sometimes God compels me to just stop, put my feet up and rest a while.
I have spent the last ten days recovering from surgery. It was a planned procedure, but more painful and complicated than anticipated, and the same can be said of its aftermath. Despite the discomfort, I have spent these days in unexpected ways. Instead of the typical and constant evaluation of my life~the ocean wide chasm that dwells between everything I wish to do and the heartbreaking realities of illness~I have spent this time well, in balance and peace and everything else I have craved.
I had a moment last week when a twinge of pain and hopelessness almost had me falling down the lupus rabbit hole again. Seconds later, as if to catch me, my sweet furry son looked up at me, rested his tiny head on my knee, and with speaking, soulful eyes said, Mommy, please be happy.
Fleeting tears disappeared. I rubbed his velvet ears between my fingers and kissed his tiny, sweet nose. I took a deep, soul cleansing breath, and with my camera in hand I stepped outside into the blue above and green below; amazing texture, depth and hue all around. Sleepy flowers emerging at the siren song of spring.
These are the things, the moments, that fuel me. Love and family. Beauty and simplicity. Inspiration and nature. The art and celebration of slow.
It feels good, being free of the usual and unnecessary pressures; knowing that what I need is right here, knowing that inspiration lives within the walls of my loving home, and sits mere steps outside my front door. The worry and frenetic pace I have known for too long isn’t the answer.
Rest, and the peace and perspective it brings, most certainly is.