With Love

Friends, I hope this post finds you happy, peaceful and loved on this gorgeous Valentine’s Day.

I know I have been quiet around here, and it isn’t at all what I had planned. My health struggles continue, and I have fought to know and find my voice in this chaos. I have been working through unprecedented symptoms, and it seems there is no end in sight.

pomegranate on a tree

I have spent my days quietly at home, in bed mostly, and it has been so hard to find interesting and inspiring things to say. Part of me feels like I can’t speak as candidly as I want to about all that is happening to me. I don’t know if illness is a worthwhile thing, or an appropriate thing to talk about, and at this point in my life I feel like it is the only thing I truly know.  What do I say? Do I write about how lonely this feels? Do I write about doctors and hospitals and other unpleasantries? Do I write about abandoned plans, or suffering relationships? Do I write about how exceptionally boring I feel I have become?

emerging hydrangea leaves

When I come here, I want my words to echo a certain meaning and confidence; a heart and faith that I am simply lacking right now. I want to talk about projects, passions and adventure, the things I just don’t have room for while I manage my health. So if the days and weeks wear on and I continue to be quiet here, that’s why. I know one day I will wake up feeling better and stronger, and I will get back to living this life the way it is meant to be lived. Until then, I will simply take each moment as it comes.

succulents

Despite everything, I know I am immeasurably blessed. Mine is a life filled with countless reasons to be hopeful.

Hope is a miraculous thing to hold on to.

Have a blessed weekend, everyone.

6 Responses to With Love

  • The longest I have ever not felt well was 10 weeks, and it felt like a lifetime, and I was very depressed. I know you’ve been suffering much longer, and I pray that it ends SOON. I never see the benefits of hard times while I’m in them. Sometimes I don’t afterward either, but at least it’s over. I think there is a purpose for writing about the doctors and the suffering – it’s a fact of life for so many people who like to know they’re not alone.

    • Thank you for your words of encouragement, Marie. I think they were the validation I needed to hear as I have struggled to know my appropriate voice moving forward. I admit that I want an easy life, I don’t want to suffer, and lately I have had a hard time seeing the blessings to be found in hard times, but I know they are there. I am blessed by your support and friendship. <3

  • Dont know why I’m commenting. No words of wisdom, just acknowledgment of that place.

    • And I agree with Marie. Writing about ur experience w illness is so valuable, esp in the context of ur other writing. And really helps me when I know I’m not the only one experiencing long periods of illness. anyway glad we met on pinterest and look forward to more of ur writing.

    • Miriam, our words are often wise, it is just hard for us to see it. :-) I feel blessed to have met you and I have Pinterest to thank for it. My hope is that both of us have days of less pain and illness ahead. Thank you for your encouragement. :-)

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