Monthly Archives: December 2013
If I could sum up how I felt for the duration of 2013 in one mere word, the answer is simple. I felt heartbroken.
I didn’t always know why, but when I could pinpoint the source of the feeling it most often came at times when I would dwell on all that illness has taken from me, and how I now have to seek purpose in the different and unexpected.
The different and unexpected can be a blessing, but it isn’t exactly easy to see in a cloud of constant pain. My heart has ached under this weight, this unsettling grief for what 2013, and what my life, was supposed to be. I know it isn’t right to feel that way. My life is amazing, and in countless ways. But sometimes fear and uncertainty win.
I want to be free. Going forward, more often than not, I want my fear to yield to wisdom. I want to greet each day with a thankful heart in the face of the painful and seemingly insurmountable, and end each day with that same precious sentiment. I want to recognize opportunity in the impossible. Essentially, I want to know the message of hope and meaning I came to love not long ago, before my health declined again.
Maintaining that delicate balance of self-care and all I wish to accomplish in 2014 won’t be easy, but I’m excited and happy to have the chance.
I am, after all, here.
May your new year, and every moment going forward, overflow with faith, peace and possibilities.
Christmas waves a magic wand over this world, and behold, everything is softer and more beautiful.
~Norman Vincent Peale
Friends, I hope December has been everything you have wanted. While I promised myself a month of love and peace, joy and ease, I have not been well physically, and it has turned into a month of considerable rest.
While I have had moments when I felt that unrelenting disappointment come on, that anger at my body for all its perceived shortcomings and failings, I have found that the remedy is simple. All I need to do is look around my cozy home and see the abundance that is mine, or feel the love of my family and friends to know how truly blessed I really am.
Gratitude isn’t always easy to feel when we are hurting, but it always finds its way back into our hearts if we let it.
I wish you a beautiful week, and a beautiful Christmas.