Everyone, I hope October has been kind to you so far. As for me, I haven’t been as active as I have wanted to be. I have been occupied with the usual sick person realities I have come to know so well.
This morning I checked yet another medical test off my very lengthy list~a long overdue brain MRI. The truth is, since January I have been averaging fifteen severe headache days a month. The pain, paired with some mysterious neurological happenings like confusion and motor issues, have consumed my life and have beat up my spirit pretty good. Lupus and its trusty partner in crime, fibromyalgia, are the most likely suspects. But my doctors need to be sure there isn’t something else brewing inside me. I need to be sure. So now I wait.
For thirty or so minutes I found myself inside a giant tube, with my head encased in something that resembled a plastic cage. If you have ever had one of these tests before on any part of your body, you know how loud it can be. For these agonizing aforementioned thirty or so minutes, a sound best compared to machine gun fire echoed around me. How delightful.
When I got home I wanted to feel useful and inspired before my pain, fatigue and weakness hit. I went outside and planted some new mums that I bought over the weekend. Perfect fall colors that made me feel good; so good that I felt inspired to get my camera and immortalize this gorgeousness that thrives in front of my house. I haven’t been using my camera as much as I should. My body shakes so badly on most days and my images are pathetically blurry. I can’t deal with my tripod, either. It proves to be too much for my tired brain. Long story short, I have been discouraged. But not today. Today I tried.
While I love the fall feeling that my new mums and pumpkins create, I find myself continuously drawn to the daisies that reside nearby. I planted these beauties over a year ago outside my front windows. When I picked them out I didn’t feel particularly passionate about them. How ironic, because they photograph so elegantly and dramatically. I feel inspired by them every day. It’s fascinating, how simple flowers embody the beauty of the unexpected.
White dahlias now accompany my mainstay daisies. I feel particularly joyful about this, because this summer I thought I had lost my precious white dahlias forever when a fungus overcame their leaves and blossoms. I was heartbroken. I trimmed the plant down to nothing and hoped for the best, praying for its return. Many weeks later tiny, healthy green leaves emerged, and last week the tiny buds blossomed once again.
I know I have mentioned the saying here before, but it’s so true~to plant a garden is to believe in tomorrow. I look right outside my house and I am reminded that in spite of everything, beauty, faith and hope always have a place.
May they always have a place in your life as well.
Have a beautiful week, friends.