For Your Week
I had high hopes for this post.
Then stuff happened.
All day yesterday I was saddled with a particularly vicious migraine, and a mean, nagging fatigue. The kind that made the pen fall out of my hand, and my face land on the freshly written pages of my journal as it lay open on the kitchen table. I woke up with inky black, backward words spelled out on my right cheek, and that twinge of envy in the pit of my stomach. Envy for the normal people out there in the world. People everywhere doing normal things, like shopping or work; or nature walks, or movies, or dinner out.
I get this way sometimes. And I have to say it is the single most difficult thing there is about being sick. At least for me. I spend way too much time mourning my former life, the energy I used to have and how unstoppable I used to be. When I feel this way I really need to stop pushing and instead go gently, delicately. My every thought need not be about the higher wisdom I seek. It isn’t always about a hidden deeper meaning. I can’t always obsess about this beast called lupus. Sometimes I just need to slow down, strive for honesty and just be. Because in illness, just as in life, sometimes easy and simple is the best medicine there is.
June is typically a thoughtful, busy time for me. A happily thoughtful and busy time. So this week I’m taking it easy, to make room for all the wonderful this month bestows. I am wishing for things, and I am wishing those same things for you.
Lovely, soulful things.
Like less television, and more time outside in the sun. The kind of colors, sounds and scents that bring your memories to life. The kind of laughter that makes your sides hurt. The kind of easy breathing you feel when everything blissfully falls into place.
The kind of love that makes you thank God for everything you have.
And the kind of moment that makes you shine, pause, and thank God for everything you are.
Have a beautiful day.
And an awesome week everyone.