What I Want This Month
Friends, I am a few days late with this post.
Last week wasn’t an ordinary week. I felt more ill than usual. I got about twelve measly hours of sleep over five days, compliments of some off-the-charts crazy pain my meds couldn’t even put a dent in. I was nauseous; so nauseous that I spent a lot of time in the bathroom (no, I’m not pregnant). However, I did have an epiphany. Saltine crackers are pretty much the greatest invention known to woman.
I threw my wedding ring in the trash. Twice. Not because I’m mad at my husband or anything like that, but because I seriously didn’t know what I was doing.
Oh well. Moving on. I’m feeling somewhat better, and now that April is here and I find myself one week into the month, it brings me to what I need emotionally, and what my role is in achieving it.
In his Palm Sunday homily last month, Pope Francis shared some words with the faithful, words that his grandmother would say to him and his siblings when they were children:
Burial shrouds don’t have pockets.
These words really aren’t anything new, but I sometimes need to be reminded of their wise, obvious truth. Consumerism, and material things, can’t feed my soul the way that simplicity and charity can. Gratification isn’t necessarily found in the “having”, but instead in the “giving”-be it the giving of possessions, or the giving of myself.
While this practice is getting remarkably easier the older (and sadly, the sicker) I get, that doesn’t mean it isn’t without its challenges. Anyone can look at my fashion boards on Pinterest and see where my tastes lie. I often joke with family and friends about becoming rich and famous, waxing poetic about the future $1,000,000 book deal, and how everyone can find me at the Neiman Marcus shoe department before the ink on my publishing contract is even dry.
But truthfully, an overabundance of pretty, expensive things isn’t going to magically make me well. I do have a chance at better energy, balance, and being well if there is space and harmony in my home. I can perhaps make life easier for others, and myself, by giving. For me, at this stage in my life, that can come from having less.
So this is what I am striving for. I want to actively cultivate a life that feels meaningful on the inside, and not trouble myself with how things look on the outside. How will I do this? I plan to take a careful look at what I have, and decide if it stays or goes. How does it serve me? Does it bring peace, beauty, function, comfort or joy into my life? Is there a happy memory associated with it? If not, I will gift it, donate it to those in need, or sell it online. A piece of jewelry that a relative admired long ago, but I no longer wear. A soft blanket that can comfort a child or furry little angel. Still stylish business attire that served its purpose in my life, and can now get another woman back on her feet and in a workforce that is just waiting for her to shine.
The material will always have a place in my world. The beautifully embellished clothes, and the special jewelry that have happy memories attached to them? I loved them then, love them now, and always will. The high-end designer bags and shoes my husband and mom have showered me with over the years? I will keep them forever. I won’t get rid of anything I truly love, no matter how simple or grand the story may be behind it, just for the sake of living up to a certain ideal. But I know I can realistically look at all I have, and let some of it go for the sake of a greater good.
How will I do? It is impossible to say, but the thought of having less is freeing, and comforting.
Friends, whatever your goals may be this month, I wish you all the world’s success in achieving them.
Let’s continue to support and love each other.
Have a beautiful week.