Just Pinch Me

Macbook Pro

Friends, I am now the overwhelmed and very happy owner of a sleek, new, top-of-the-line Macbook Pro.

While I am usually a girl of many words, this new acquisition has left me speechless.  Even a little bit teary-eyed.

Someone pinch me.

I love the feel of it, even the smell of it (yep, “new computer smell” is actually a thing).

This is definitely one of those “where have you been all my life?” moments.  And there is a really awesome back story to this.

Anyone who is a regular here knows that I am going through some heavy stuff.  It has been a really tough and scary few weeks, and the end of it is nowhere in sight.  I’m really fragile right now.  At times even despondent.  And then last Thursday, Valentine’s Day of all days, things spiraled down even further.

My trusty little laptop, my lifeline, conked out.

My husband called me from work as I sat in the parking lot at Best Buy.  The geeks had given me the bad news just minutes before.  My little guy was a goner.  I was shaking as I held the phone to my ear, my words all over the place as my husband patiently listened.

“Honey, we’ll get you a new computer.  It’s alright,” he said softly.

“Oh just forget it,” I snapped.  “This isn’t your problem.”

“Excuse me,” he said, laughing, “but this very much is my problem.”

I realized at that moment that somehow, some way, it would be alright.  This was small stuff.  I needed to go home and think.  Most important I needed to calm down and just re-group.  Over two days I actually enjoyed that limited feeling that comes with having no computer.  I read a book.  I relaxed.  I got extra snuggling time with the pups.  I didn’t work because I couldn’t, and it felt really good.  But by Saturday it was time to get serious again.  And the day and experience would, as usual, teach me a worthy, indelible lesson.

I have my mom to thank for this.  She took me back to Best Buy, insisted I got what I wanted, and now this dreamy machine is mine.   Yes, the money spent was significant, and her generosity, in that respect, deserves its due.  But what she did goes way beyond that.  My mom has agonized over what I have been through over the past few weeks.  She wants to take all my pain, all my fear, my every challenge, and make all of it her own.  Buying me this beautiful new Macbook was about making my life, even for a moment, a little easier.  She wants to make my life better.   She wants me to succeed.  My mom’s spirit is all about caring, love and giving.  And believe me, she gives on the grandest scale.

Macbook

I know over the years my mom has had her moments, when she has looked at my brother and me, and she has worried.  She has worried about the job she has done.  She has worried about the example she set.  She feared that she wasn’t enough.  Well Mom, you go way beyond enough.  You are the best.  You chose the world’s toughest job and have done it beautifully.  Words fail to describe the extent of your love and devotion.  There should be more like you.

It is my greatest wish for this world.

Ralph Waldo Emerson so wisely said the following:

“To laugh often and much; to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children; to earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends; to appreciate beauty, to find the best in others; to leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch, or a redeemed social condition; to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded.”

Yes.

To know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded.

Mom, I have breathed easier because of you.

You will always be a success in my eyes.

Thanks.

For everything.

Have a beautiful week everyone.

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