Deep Breaths

Okay, it happened.

Things got a little nutty this week and I began to feel the pressure.  Instead of letting go of perfect just as I promised, perfect got right past my once formidable defenses and slithered back in.

I started thinking that I needed a bigger tree, and more ornaments.  I started worrying about what our outside lights look like, and debated sending my husband to Lowe’s for the seventh time to buy more.  I started crying when I thought about my bank account balance and how I can’t buy everything I want to and spoil my mom and husband rotten.  I started thinking about all the festive parties my friends are hosting, and how I am too tired and sick to do the same.

But after a thoughtful morning, I decided that today I’m taking my sanity back.

Today I’m a rebel.

Today I let go.  Again.

Because no matter what I do, no matter how much I make myself crazy, and no matter how much money I have (or don’t have), Christmas will be Christmas.   And it will be beautiful.   Its success doesn’t hinge on how much I buy, how perfect my tree is, whether or not I open my house to guests,  or how decisively we crush our neighbors in the Great Christmas Lights Throw Down of 2012.  There will still be gifts, given with love.  Our home will be bright, warm and beautiful regardless.  And we have each other.  I can’t ask for anything more, of the holiday, myself or of anyone else.

I have a casual plan to reclaim my calm today.  It involves many cups of piping hot deliciousness, yoga, deep breaths,  quiet, a good book and as much sleep as I desire.  Not necessarily in that order.

And God willing, I will have the resolve to maintain my calm tomorrow and beyond.

Have a great weekend everyone.

Please fit in some “me” time.

And some fun.

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