Tomorrow Is Another Day

I’ve cried a lot today.

It’s not even noon yet.

I cried over homeless dogs being shared on Facebook.

I cried thinking about my father, feeling his absence and knowing that his life didn’t have to end the way it did.

I cried because I didn’t sleep.  My brain is tired.  In my funk I accidentally poured mouthwash over my freshly shaven leg, mistaking it for my Neutrogena body oil.  The sting wasn’t pleasant.

I cried because my doctor is pregnant.  Not because it makes me sad, reminding me that I am not well enough to have my own children.  I cried because she is awesome and smart and cool and no matter what, boy or girl, she’s going to be an incredible mom, setting a wonderful example.

No, not because she reminds me of dreams not realized, of the children I will never have.

Honest.

Why is this happening?

Sometimes it goes way beyond an easy explanation.  Sometimes there are just days like this.  Simple as that.  I sometimes worry that I’m not very resilient.   But worry is futile.  My tears have a purpose.  I’m not exactly clear on what that purpose is, but right now they are my way of making sense of this world.

Tomorrow is another day.  I will embrace what comes and how I need to make sense of it.  However I need to be.  It may involve tears, or smiles, or both.

The greatest gift is being alive to feel it.

I wish everyone a safe, happy and peaceful weekend.

 

2 Responses to Tomorrow Is Another Day

  • Hey…it’s me, Rebecca :). Wow…. I haven’t actually been over here to read your blog til’ now…This is beautiful…the self-expression is a great way to heal and help others see that they are not alone :). U know, a good cry never hurt anyone…it makes others sad to see someone cry, but do you know, when I have a REAL good cry…usually by myself… I feel this ‘release’ of sorts….u know? I wish you could have children of your own…it hurts when I know there are people out there who can’t :( and who want one so bad that they can taste the pain :(. But I have a feeling, even though it hasn’t happened…you have people who look toward you as a mother figure…I know it’s not the same thing…but, I’m almost positive you’ve helped a lot of people in your own way (like a mother helps a child) emotionally or whatever way :). It’s hard to know what to say to someone in your situation…I try to offer my best emotionally, but wrong things can also be said. I hope I didn’t say anything to make ya sad but I do hope you are ok :(. Take care girl :)… HUGSSSS :)

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