Tomorrow Is Another Day

I’ve cried a lot today.

It’s not even noon yet.

I cried over homeless dogs being shared on Facebook.

I cried thinking about my father, feeling his absence and knowing that his life didn’t have to end the way it did.

I cried because I didn’t sleep.  My brain is tired.  In my funk I accidentally poured mouthwash over my freshly shaven leg, mistaking it for my Neutrogena body oil.  The sting wasn’t pleasant.

I cried because my doctor is pregnant.  Not because it makes me sad, reminding me that I am not well enough to have my own children.  I cried because she is awesome and smart and cool and no matter what, boy or girl, she’s going to be an incredible mom, setting a wonderful example.

No, not because she reminds me of dreams not realized, of the children I will never have.

Honest.

Why is this happening?

Sometimes it goes way beyond an easy explanation.  Sometimes there are just days like this.  Simple as that.  I sometimes worry that I’m not very resilient.   But worry is futile.  My tears have a purpose.  I’m not exactly clear on what that purpose is, but right now they are my way of making sense of this world.

Tomorrow is another day.  I will embrace what comes and how I need to make sense of it.  However I need to be.  It may involve tears, or smiles, or both.

The greatest gift is being alive to feel it.

I wish everyone a safe, happy and peaceful weekend.