Tomorrow Is Another Day
I’ve cried a lot today.
It’s not even noon yet.
I cried over homeless dogs being shared on Facebook.
I cried thinking about my father, feeling his absence and knowing that his life didn’t have to end the way it did.
I cried because I didn’t sleep. My brain is tired. In my funk I accidentally poured mouthwash over my freshly shaven leg, mistaking it for my Neutrogena body oil. The sting wasn’t pleasant.
I cried because my doctor is pregnant. Not because it makes me sad, reminding me that I am not well enough to have my own children. I cried because she is awesome and smart and cool and no matter what, boy or girl, she’s going to be an incredible mom, setting a wonderful example.
No, not because she reminds me of dreams not realized, of the children I will never have.
Why is this happening?
Sometimes it goes way beyond an easy explanation. Sometimes there are just days like this. Simple as that. I sometimes worry that I’m not very resilient. But worry is futile. My tears have a purpose. I’m not exactly clear on what that purpose is, but right now they are my way of making sense of this world.
Tomorrow is another day. I will embrace what comes and how I need to make sense of it. However I need to be. It may involve tears, or smiles, or both.
The greatest gift is being alive to feel it.
I wish everyone a safe, happy and peaceful weekend.