A Simple Wish
Some things don’t feel good. They leave your heart feeling a little battered. Like the moment you realize that someone isn’t a friend, after you invested so much time, love and energy into them. Or when you feel a growing tension between you and your beloved, and it feels impossible to fix the problem, if you knew what the problem was. Or when your doctor doesn’t have the best news for you. Or when you believe in what you are doing, but the rest of the world just hasn’t caught on yet, and you fear no matter how hard you try, no matter how much faith you have, you may not succeed.
I have been feeling all of these things.
It doesn’t help when I find myself incessantly contemplating the state of the world, and how it feels so easy to lose hope in the collective direction we are going in. It isn’t about the politics of this country and who is left and right, and who is right or wrong. Because there will always be differences, there will always be the grey area, and that isn’t a bad thing. For me it is all about the pain and misery I see every day when I turn on the news. I don’t understand why everyone just can’t choose peace and love. But really it has never been that way, as long a humans have walked this earth. So simple, but impossible.
What a shame.
Lately I have felt paralyzed, too, almost flat inside. I have struggled, sitting here and trying to come up with worthy, interesting things to say. Sometimes nothing comes. I have to remember that this happens, and it’s okay. I will feel normal and creative again, when I least expect it. And I will come back better than before.
I’m tired right now. And all I want to do is attain some level of peace and serenity.
To believe in myself and the world again, and the magic and miracles of limitless potential.
Such a simple wish.
Easier said than done.
I will get there again.
And until I do, the lesson of this rough patch will only make me stronger.