The First Day Of The Rest Of My Life

It’s a new month, and I find myself in uncharted territory.

I can finally say, in earnest, that I have launched my dream career.   I can call myself an author.   The first e-book is published and out there for all the world to see.   I have started Book #2, and Book #3 is outlined, coming to life with all the ideas popping into my head.   I’m scared to death, but oddly it feels good.  And I trust the feeling completely.

I haven’t been more sure of anything in my life.

I worried at first.  I worried about coming across like a dilettante.  I also worried about getting lazy and not doing what I said I was going to do.  Nothing irritates me more than people who do just that.  I also didn’t want my husband, friends and family looking at me like I’m a housewife with a useless hobby, despite my steadfast effort to dispel the perception.

I have conquered some of that fear.  But I have moments when I do feel like an amateur.  I can also go a few days and not put pen to paper, so to speak, and then I feel guilty and scared that I won’t harness the discipline to keep going.   The fear always proves to be pointless.  Inspiration and belief in myself always manage to find their way back.  As for feeling a bit lost and amateurish, I have to remind myself that I am like so many self-published, indie authors out there.  They are entitled to their shot at all the success the world has to offer.

So am I.

So are you.

We all have to start somewhere.

Only good can come out of this experience.  I continue to learn the process of how it all works.  I feel more brave with each passing day, knowing I am closer to the next goal; and I am getting more comfortable with having my name and work out there for everyone to see.   Ten years ago, if someone told me I would be doing this I wouldn’t have believed them.  This change in me is a very good thing.  Finally, with each sentence I create I become a better writer.  I think that is what I value most about my chosen path.

It is natural to measure my future success by the number of people I reach.  But there is so much more to it than that.  I’m happy.  If people enjoy what I do and then find it in themselves to follow their dreams, then it’s an added bonus.  I am most grateful for what this is doing for me personally.

Emotionally.

I feel blessed.

There is a very bright future ahead.

Photo Source: http://greenlikebathwater.tumblr.com/

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